The Mum Guilt No One Warned Me About ☁️

No one really prepares you for mum guilt.

They warn you about sleepless nights, tantrums and mess —

but not the quiet voice in your head that constantly asks,

“Am I doing enough?”

As a mum of two, studying and working part time, mum guilt has found a way to sneak into almost every part of my life.

Not loudly.

Quietly.

Subtly.

In the little moments I didn’t even realise were doing damage.

This is the kind of guilt no one warns you about.

🤱 The guilt of being with them… and still feeling distracted

You’re physically there, but mentally checking emails.

Watching them play but thinking about deadlines.

Singing wheels on the bus while worrying about tomorrow’s to-do list.

Then you feel guilty for not being “present enough”.

But here’s the truth:

You’re not distracted because you don’t care.

You’re distracted because you’re carrying a lot.

And it doesn’t cancel out your love.

💼 The guilt of working

The guilt of dropping them off.

The guilt of missing moments.

The guilt of them asking, “Are you going to work again?”

Then on the days you do stay home…

you feel guilty for not earning.

For not contributing “enough”.

You’re made to feel like you’re always choosing wrong —

even when you’re simply trying your best.

📚 The guilt of studying

Studying as a mum is a strange type of guilt.

Because you’re trying to build a better future —

but it sometimes costs your present hours.

The time you spend on assignments could’ve been cuddles.

The quiet evenings with your laptop could’ve been movie nights.

And yet… you’re doing this for them.

That’s the part people forget.

💔 The guilt of needing space

You feel guilty for craving quiet.

For wanting ten minutes alone.

For dreaming about alone time.

But motherhood doesn’t mean you stop being human.

Wanting space doesn’t mean you love them less.

It means you’re tired.

And tired mums still deserve care too.

🌙 The guilt of enjoying time without them

When you finally get a break…

you miss them.

And feel guilty for enjoying the silence.

Then guilty for missing them less than you thought you would.

It’s a cycle that never really stops.

🤍 But here’s what I’ve learned…

Mum guilt is loud — but love is louder.

It doesn’t mean you’re doing something wrong.

It means you care deeply.

The fact that you worry about being a good mum?

Already tells me you are one.

You’re not meant to be perfect.

You’re meant to be real.

And your babies don’t need perfection —

they just need you.

🌷 For the mum reading this right now:

The one feeling guilty for working.

The one feeling guilty for resting.

The one feeling guilty for breathing.

You are not failing.

You are human.

And the fact that you care this much

means you’re doing more than enough

— even on the days it doesn’t feel like it.

Rachel x