The Mental Load of Motherhood: The Things No One Sees but Every Mum Feels 🧠💛

If motherhood came with a job description, the list would be so long it would need its own scroll bar 😅

And yet… half the role doesn’t even make the list.

Because the hardest part of motherhood isn’t the nappies, the tantrums, the long nights or the long days — it’s the mental load.

The invisible work.

The constant thinking, planning, remembering, preparing, checking, worrying…

All the things no one else sees but every mum feels 🫶

As a mum of two, working part-time and studying for my degree, my brain is basically 57 tabs open at once — with at least 10 frozen and one playing music for no reason 😂🎶

Here’s the truth about the mental load, from someone deep in the thick of it:

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1. You carry everything before it even happens 👜🍼

Before the day even starts, your brain is already running the schedule:

nappies?

snacks?

spare clothes?

appointments?

what time is the nap?

did we run out of milk?

did I reply to that message?

whose turn is it to pack the bag?

You don’t just live the day… you manage the day 👀

No planner or spreadsheet could ever hold what a mum keeps in her head.

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2. You’re the “default parent” even when you’re busy 📞👩‍👧

Someone always calls your name first.

Someone always asks you first.

Someone always needs you first.

Even when you’re working.

Even when you’re studying.

Even when your brain is running on fumes 🥴

It’s beautiful to be loved that deeply —

but exhausting to be needed that constantly 🫠💛

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3. Tiny decisions drain you more than big ones 😮‍💨

What to cook.

Which bib to use.

Where the shoes are.

Who needs socks.

What time we should leave.

What to watch.

What to pack.

If you have time to shower.

Decision fatigue is REAL 😵‍💫

And when you’re juggling two little ones and two hundred responsibilities, the small choices feel huge.

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4. You’re planning tomorrow even while surviving today 📅✨

While cooking dinner, you’re planning breakfast.

While tidying toys, you’re planning tomorrow’s outfits.

While doing bedtime, you’re mentally writing your to-do list for when they sleep.

Mums don’t stop.

Our brains do not switch off.

There’s always something waiting for us on the other side of “when I get a minute” 🤯

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5. The mental load is heavy… but love is heavier 💛👶👧

For every job, task and mental checklist item…

there’s a cuddle.

A giggle.

A tiny hand reaching for yours.

A sleepy “mummy?” at the end of the longest day.

Motherhood is the most emotionally expensive job in the world —

but somehow, the return on investment is priceless 💛

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A gentle reminder, from one mum to another: 🌿

You’re carrying so much.

More than anyone sees.

More than you ever admit.

You’re not failing — you’re overloaded.

You’re not weak — you’re tired.

You’re not alone — every mum feels this, even if she doesn’t say it 🫂

And if no one has told you today:

You’re doing an incredible job 💛👏

Rachel x